My book, Everything Is Wonderful Now, is coming soon!

I've spent the last several months, arguably an entire year and a half, waiting for time to pass quickly. I'd realized safety was better than taking a risk, as I'm disabled and on SSI, so publishing a book and giving my dream a chance wasn't possible. I felt trapped by the system that wanted to keep me impoverished because I'm disabled and I cannot work.

I gave up on life as my only reason for living felt out of reach. I sunk deeper into depersonalization/derealization, resulting in a DPDR diagnosis just last week, and I regularly binge ate and spiraled deeper into the two-year long PTSD depression that started in 2020.

I finally decided a few weeks ago, after talking to my case manager, that I just need to do this. My tarot cards were pointing me in that direction, and I noticed an improvement in my outlook on life when I let myself dream again. I dived headfirst into the process, and I ended up with a great book cover that my cover designer made shine. I just submitted the book for formatting this evening, and after that... time for proof copies.

It feels unreal and I'm extremely anxious, but I realized that I don't need to keep adding medications to my regime like my psychiatrist is suggesting. My problem isn't one that can be medicated.

The cure is to simply be allowed to pursue the one goal I've had for myself since I was a kid. All I ever wanted to do was publish my stories and to have other people read them. As an adult, I dreamed of having it as a job even if the chances of that happening are slim.

I have multiple books planned, two more of which are written but need rewrites and fixing before they can be considered for publishing. I'll have to go through the same process of working on them that I did with Everything Is Wonderful Now, but I don't dread it. I love the process of learning from my editor and watching my books take shape to be so much better than they were before. I've certainly grown since I started working with an editor in 2019.

Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe things will work out and I will stay within the safe boundary to not have to worry. I'm scared, though. Terrified, actually. I don't even know what will happen when I publish a second book. I have to hope for the best.

Either way, I'm excited and proud of myself. I am aiming for a release date in mid-late October if all goes well, and I'm really crunching for time. Releasing this on my birthday, especially while considering the autobiographical nature of the book, is so important to me. I feel like that's ideal and I will bust my butt to make it happen.

Until then, I set up a landing page for the book if you'd like to watch the trailer I made for it as well as get more information. I hope this story reaches those who need it most.

Here's a proper book cover reveal!